Best quotes from Emmys night

The 70th Emmy Awards featured pithy jokes, heartfelt speeches and a few life lessons. Here are a handful of key quotes from Monday’s night gala in Los Angeles:

– Boozing with colleagues –

“This year, the audience is allowed to drink in their seats. Hope you’re excited about that — because the one thing Hollywood needs right now is a bunch of people losing their inhibitions at a work function.”

— Emmy host Colin Jost, a regular on “Saturday Night Live”

– Praise Jesus –

“My mother’s not watching tonight. She says she doesn’t like watching white award shows because you guys don’t thank Jesus enough. The only white people that thank Jesus are Republicans and ex-crackheads.”

— Jost’s co-host and “SNL” partner Michael Che, who is black

– God is a woman –

“I don’t even believe in God, but I’m going to thank her tonight.”

— Emmy winner Thandie Newton (“Westworld”), following up on Che’s riff


– Losers at love and Emmys –

“There are so many guys who didn’t win with engagements rings in their pockets right now.”

— Jost, after Emmy winner Glenn Weiss’s surprise proposal

– Comedy legend –

“It’s incredible that you can stay in a career this long and still have people put up with you.”

— Legendary comedian and multiple Emmy winner Betty White, who is 96

– Offred or Kunta Kinte? –

“‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ takes place in an imaginary future where an entire group of people is violently forced to work and make babies against their will. It’s what black people call history. It’s ‘Roots’ for white women”

— Che, referring to the landmark 1970s television mini-series about slavery

– Nazis are bad, right? –

“The first Emmys were held back in 1949. Things were very different back then. Gas was 17 cents a gallon, a new home cost $7,000, and we all agreed that Nazis were bad.”


— Jost, in a dig at President Donald Trump’s failure to explicitly condemn a white nationalist and neo-Nazi rally in Virginia last year

– Trump or Claire Underwood? –

“I’ve been watching this very shocking dystopian drama called ‘The News.’ I’m on season 9,000. It gets darker and darker but I can’t stop watching. They need to recast the lead. I’d prefer Robin Wright.”

— Comedian Samantha Bee, cracking wise about the 45th president of the United States and her preference for Wright’s “House of Cards” character

– Career advice –

“When they call and say, ‘Can you ride a horse?’, don’t lie. You will find on day one you’re in the Kentucky Derby.”

— Jeff Daniels, who won the Emmy for best supporting actor in a limited series or movie for Netflix western “Godless”

– Keeping it real –

“Ladies, when you use a public restroom, sit down. If you sit, we can all sit. Stop peeing on the seat.”


— Alex Borstein, who won the Emmy for best supporting actress in a comedy for “The Marvelous Mrs Maisel”






























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